I'm Sorry Wayne County

We're Number One!

According to the latest Census my currently county of residence, Wayne County, Indiana has the single highest divorce rate in the United States of America. According to this Census 19 Percent of all people over the age of 15 are divorced in Wayne County. Why they include data about 15 year olds to find out about divorce rate is a good question for another day but right now I would like to think about why the divorce rate in the rural Indiana county can be so high.

After much deliberation and countless hours of studying it came to me how this could be so. Me. Yes, that's what I said, Me. I've been living in this fare county for 8 months now and in that time have attracted so many women that they are divorcing their current husbands in order to have the opportunity to spend their life with me.

Now I feel horrible about all of this and would like to send an official apology out to Wayne County and its' residents. It is with great hope that I wish you accept this apology and realize that it was not something I intended to happen but is just a consequence of Bo being Bo.

Beatles Day

The day of his birth. His first day of kindergarten. His Indiana Pacer's Locker he got as a Christmas present. The time he mistook me as someone who might actually have lightning at my diposal. And of course the day in which he married "Mrs. Thug Mrs." All these were significant days in Sean P. Stevenson's life but none of which match the magnitude of September 9th, 2009 Anno Domini. In Sean's 25 years of life he has seen a wave of technology fly by unlike of anyone any generation before him. He was there to witness the original Nintendo to become the Wie. He was there to witness Word Processors become computers. He has seen Pacer games from a once blurry wwt4 t.v screen 20 games a year to now seeing every game in the high quality of HD television. He has even been here for the music revolution that has gone from cassettes to cds to ipods. And with all this his life has been lacking one thing, the revolution of the Beatles to the new millenium.

Now what is amazing to me is what has taken so long for this music to be remastered. Look at Disney, I can't even watch a whole commercial without knowing that Bambi has been remastered. You would think that with a kagillion dollars the Beatles have made already they would use a small part of that money to remaster their music to make to make a kagillion more and here's another added bonus, your music is going to sound infinetely better than it did beforehand.

Editors Note: The above picture of Trish Stratus is intentionally being put in to offset the picture of Sean.

Sean brace yourself for this story because it may cause a Revolution in your life. While in the library yesterday I overheard a junior high boy ask who the Beatles were. He had seen the commerical for Rockband and was unaware that they were an actual band. Instead he thought they were part of a kids show that was Hannah Montanaesque. This incident nearly led to a Ben Affleck like ass whooping from Dazed and Confused. What are wrong with kids today?

Still, it seems like the Beatles have been working from old forms that still have the "19__" on the top to help you with the date which makes it even more refreshing that Sean can finally have his day in the sun.

I have been thinking long and hard what I can compare this day to in the eyes of Sean. I myself have never had to wait so long for anything my entire life, for Sean to have to sit there while pile of garbage after garbage gets remastered and rereleased and your'e just waiting for your day to come when all will be right in the world. So to culminate this momentus occasion I have taken a quote from the famous speech from the President in the movie Independence Day said about the world regaining independence from evil aliens and have altered it to fit this day about the Beatles.

"Good Morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others around the world (to purchase Beatles merchandise). And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind (bidding wars). "Mankind." That word should have a new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore(which is better a Hard Day's Night or Yellow Submarine). We will be united in our common interests (The Beatles). Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July(09/09/09), and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution....but from annihilation (Yoko Ono). We are fighting for our right to live (through The Beatles). To exist(through The Beatles). And should we win the day, The Fourth of July (09/09/09) will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice "We will not go quietly into the night!"(And when the night is cloudy, There is still a light that shines on me, Shine on until tommorow, let it be.) We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day! (Beatles Day!)"

Come on Down....You're the next contestant on WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Anyone who knows me will tell you I am a fan of novelty. Hence my interest in such things as wrestling, vh1, watching fat people try to do any sort of physical activity and trying whatever the newest brand of pepsi is. The latest event to spark my interest? 85 year old animal advocate Bob Barker is hosting the Labor Day edition of WWE Monday Night Raw. There could not be a better man for the job, Bob Barkers whole appeal is a novelty. He's a game show host who used the same set, the same microphone and same announcer (I know Rod Roddy died but in my heart he didn't) for 50 years. Everything the man does is random. Who ends every show by saying "have your pets spayed on neutered." Who plays himself in a movie and beats the bajesus out of Happy Gilmore at a golf tournament? Speaking of which, the only movie/tv show I can find Barker ever being in when he didn't play himself was in a 1960 episode of Bonanza. Barker was 37 then just to give you some perspective on how old his guy is. But now he returns once again to host my favorite tv program, WWE Raw. I don't even know where to begin with where Raw might go that night but my only hope is that Bob a) beats the crap out of someone and b) has a shower scene with Kelly Kelly.

Im running (out) on Dunkin. Take II

For the first time in what seems like decades I'm back to work every Monday through Friday for the good of humanity. And thats all I got to say about that.

In Sean We Trust

In wake of you also rejoining the work force I thought I would give you a compiled list of some of the things that you will no longer be able to enjoy being that you are no longer unemployed.......Actually after some that, you're going to be able to do everything you did before you got a job. Consider this as probably is a sign that you need to invest in new hobbies/interest.

Something for Sara

This weeks top 5....because your big 21st is fast approaching here's a top 5 of must have drinks for you to enjoy during your celebration.

5. Kamikaze. Because of our family's interest in history especially with WWII this is the perfect drink to get your night started.

4. A Wisconsin Lunchbox. There's nothing fun about this drink and it won't even do the trick that much, but no one should have a night full of drinks they actually enjoy.

3. Jager Bomb. Lets just get this one out of the way. I'm not the biggest fan of this but its neccesary. nuff said.

2. The Three Wise Men. Consider this drink to be Me, Sean and Scott being with you in spirit. And just so you don't forget us, No chaser.

1. "The Birthday Shot" There's nothing more awesome than telling a bartender it's your birthday and to make you something, anything. This often ends with the bartender shamefully giving you a very potent concauction they often refuse to even charge you for just because of their own distaste for what they're making you put in your body.

and after you complete this list you have 16 more to go and your all set....

Inspiration for Tom

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

--Frank Sinatra

114 Days and We've Got an Update

You tend to look at your life a little differently when you're 24 years old and you find yourself out running errands with your mother. Part of you feeling proud of yourself for doing something nice for your mother, part of you praying that you don't see anyone you know, and then there's that final part that makes you wonder what direction you are going in your life. This is what I went through for two hours this afternoon. Here's a rundown of my day.

"What are you doing, trying to race there?"
"Do you need money for your McDonalds?"
"Will you sweep out my car while I'm in physical therapy?"
"We got to go to Aldi too. Do you need anything?"
"We might need to go pick up a cat, I need to make a phone call first."

Heres a brief summary of the answers from the above questions. 64 mph is entirely way to fast to be driving down Carlos Road in which was recently repaved thanks to a "Wheel Tax" whatever that is. No, I do not need money to buy McDonalds but I will accept your six dollars to pay for it. No I don't really want to sweep out your car in the 90 degree heat but what choice do I have now that I've accepted your six dollars. I don't think anything makes you feel like a 4 year old than going grocery shopping with your mother and yes I let her buy me some strawberries. And finally no cat today, I don't know how the cat got on the list of things to do or why a phone call put a hoax on the whole deal but that's all just too bad. But all and all what a great day to spend with my mom.

I'm Running (out) on Dunkin Take 2

School starts next week which means I actually might start working a little bit as a full-time sub. At this point in my lfe I consider this as good as it gets.

In Sean We Trust/Something For Sara

I've decided to focus this top five list to you Sean and the top 5 Part-Time Jobs you should look into.

5. Dunkin Donuts. Of course. Just use me as a reference and your'e in makin America's favorite coffee and breakfast pasteries.

4. A Fireman. I realize that you are over qualified for this position on a variety of levels but I feel you could thrive with this profession

3. The Janitor. Just be "The Janitor" anywhere with no one really knowing who you are until one day you quit only then to reveal your true identity.

2. Professional Fighter. Here's a link http://www.usadojo.com/kata/martial-arts-schools.asp?st=136 of some local places in your area where you can begin your training. Hopefully you can find something Rex-Quan-Do esque to fit your training needs.

1. Bee Keeper. You can actually start this today with the gigantic bee hive in my parents backyard. Thus far the thousands of bees seem pretty harmless so you should have no problem removing them from the property. We will provide you with a set of gloves for your trouble.


Inspiration for Tom

From my new favorite movie, The Hangover

"You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack.... it grew by one. So there.... there were two of us in the wolf pack.... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!"

Can you hear me now?

Going through 3 phones in a calendar year may sound excessive for the average phone user. Well for this young blogger it is not enough. The first two dead phones were a result of wear and tear and then water damage. And now after switching networks to the dark side (Verizon) I have more phone problems. Since this past Friday I have not been able to speak to or hear anyone on my phone. What makes the situation even better is that my phone still actually rings and I can answer it, but then cannot hear or say anything. For those of you who desperately need to contact me have no fear for my texting availability is still here. And after a trip to Verizon today (which is always an adventure) I learned I can get a new phone mailed to me in two days. What was more intriguing is that even though I pay 6 dollars of insurance for my phone it was still going to cost me 50 dollars for a new phone. Now maybe my understanding of what the definition of insurance is skewed but I was always under the impression that insurance meant that my phone would be insured if something happened to it (i.e. the sound stopped working). Just a misunderstanding on my part I guess.

I'm running (out) on Dunkin' Take 2

The world of work has me by the shorthairs right now with teaching, coaching two teams and reffing every chance I get but as my friend Steve-0 would say, "Anything worth doing is worth over doing." That was Steven Tyler actually but Steve likes to say it and wishes he could take credit for it so I was gonna let him have this one. He needs it.

In Sean We Trust

Now I've already went public saying that our 2009-2010 INDIANA Pacers will win 50 games next year. Im purposely stressing the word INDIANA because I'm not sure how long Larry Bird's squad will be in our fair state and I loathe the day I won't be able to speak of the Pacers as a current NBA Franchise. Moving on to happier news. After some extensive research I have found out that it will cost 6 more dollars a month to get a Direct TV package that includes WGN so I can keep up with the WWE Universe and watch WWE Superstars on Thursday evenings. 6 dollars seems to be a very interesting amount because it is the exact amount I am paying for my noninsurance for my verizon phone currently. I expect to start redirecting this 6 dollars very shortly so I can enjoy Tombstones, Batista Bombs and MVP's Ballin' Shot! ASAP.

Something for Sara. This section is designed for myself to give out different top 5's. This week's topic: My top 5 school lunch meals.
5. Chili and Peanut Butter Sandwiches
4. Thanksgiving Lunch Day
3. The Rectangle Pizza
2. Ham and Cheese Croisant
1. The Foot Long Hotdog
Life really doesn't get any better than with these meals.

A Love Story

I went to Ponderosa yesterday with Sean and his wife. While preparing to order I noticed that instead of just getting the buffet for 70 cents more I could get a steak and a baked potato which after asking I realized I could get it TO GO!!! So after stuffing myself with chicken wings, mashed potatoes and runny macoroni I got to put my steak and baked potato in an actual doggie bag (yes they didn't stop making doggie bags in 1977). And for supper last night I got to enjoy my 70 cent steak and baked potato in the comfort of my own home. If that's not love im not sure what is.

Inspiration for Tom

We'll just go ahead and say Steve-0 came up with this from now on, he might as well have

"anything worth doing is worth over doing."

Spring Break!

For those of you uniformed with the current calculations of the life of this young writer please pay attention to the following. As of two weeks ago I took a job as a special ed teacher that i love, i am coaching a hs girls aau team that won their first game last nite 77-56 and im in high debate whether i want to coach a jr high track team that i need to decide one way or another in by the end of of the weekend. So thats the life jobwise, socialwise I am on Spring Break right now which i spent the first half in bloomington and broke my record for beers in a single nite, 22! so hooray me for almost being able to still drink my age, what a sad life. The grail of the week of course is coming this weekend where Wrestlemania XXV will be airing and I am in no way prepared for. Anyway, lets move on to my sections so I can move on with my nite.

I'm running (out) on Dunkin' Take 2

Congratulations Dunkin' Donuts. I took ur job because of the novelty and because of it I am teaching everyday. For no reason at all i decided to put Dunkin in my teaching resume' and during my teaching entire spent more time discussing about my time at Dunkin Donuts than any teaching or coaching job I've ever done. My favorite donut is just a regular Maple Donut.

In Sean We Trust

See Section "something for sara

Something for Sara
This section is designed for myself to give out different top 5's. This week's topic: My top 5 matches I'm lookin forward to at Wrestlemania this weekend

5. Cena vs Big Show vs Edge. Im going to be honest. Vickie Guerrero makes this match and I can wait to see where her heart truly lies with the big show and edge. my prediction, cena wins the match, vickie will have to pleasure herself from now on afterwards.

4. Women's Battle Royal. Anytime Kelly Kelly is involved is one thing, but 25 of them in on over the top rope battle royal is worth 55 bucks any day of the week. My prediciton. Gail Gim (pictured above) just because I have a thing for asians and i mean are you serious?

3. HHH vs Orton. Any feud that involves assault a sledghammer throwing , breaking into a house and then destroying it, kissing another mans wife while her actual husband is handcuffed to the ring rope, 3 McMahons who all have spent time in the hospital AND tricking cody rhodes into an actualy cage is going to make my top 5 at any pay per view. my prediction. orton

2. The Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match usually steals the show at Wrestlemania because its just so god damn ridiculous. My prediction. Kane

1. Shawn Michaels vs the Undertaker. Taker's 16-0 at Wrestlemania. Michaels is 'Mr. Wrestlemania'. I can remember playing this match on my super nintendo. I am not ready for this. my prediction. rest in peace michaels. taker will be 17-0

A Namedrop for my friends Business

In honor of my girl Tiff who has givin me everyone haircut ive had in the last 2 years I want to reccomend to everyone that they start getting their haricut at the College Mall REGIS' in Bloomington, IN and make sure u ask for TIFF!

A Love Story

Inspiration for Tom
This is just a good quote, you should take notes from the Undertaker actually

"Listen, if you've got beef with me, I aint a hard guy to find. I stand 6'10, I weigh 330lbs, and I'm usually kicking the hell out of somebody." The Undertaker

Larry Bird = Idiot

So after putting my blog on hiatus for a month and a half while I moved from Bloomington to Williamsburg, Indiana and waited on the lengthy process of attaining high speed internet I feel as though I have left my faithful readers in a cloud of darkness and bewilderment of what is going on with my life and how I feel about different subject matters.

Well with the birth of our high speed internet here in Amishville I did what many of you would expect me to do this weekend, catch up on all the Pacer, IU and WWE news that I've been missing the past 6 weeks. Well while I was combing through the salaries of my Pacers for this year and the upcoming years I was kind of surprised to see that we had the 14th highest payroll in the league. I mean we're terrible so what are we playing for. Then I thought about for a second and thought that a lot of bad teams have high payrolls so we're just sitting low for contracts to expire. Wrong. This year the Pacers have a payroll of over 70 million. Next Year it's going to be almost 58 Million in garanteed deals. For the 2010-2011 season its over 56 million. Now 56 Million dollars seems like an excessive payroll for a team currently last place in its division so I decided to do some investigative work. Out of the top 14 teams in Payroll this year the Pacers will rank 10 next year and number 2 in the 2010-2011 season. The only team that will be ahead of the Pacers? The Lakers who have the big 3 of Kobe, Gasol and Bynum wrapped up in big contracts. Not to be outdone however the Pacers have their big 3 of Murphy, Dunleavy and Granger wrapped up also. So in the Big free agent extravaganza of 2010 that features Lebron, Wade, Bosh, LL Cool J and Snoop-a-Loop the Pacers will be wondering what to do with their 13th Draft selection where they will undoubtedly take Matt Roth from IU. Larry Bird = Idiot. I did put a picture up of him with Reggie Miller to help make me feel better about the whole situation though and I wont lie to you, it's working.

I'm running (out) on Dunkin' Take 2

Ok Dunkin'. You win. After leaving you for greener grass I am once again looking for more work because apparantly 2 so called jobs are not enough for this guy. So for anyone who has a job opening in the Richmond area note this. I am a skilled baker, a medicore student and am very lacklusterly motivated so please hire me.

In Sean We Trust

Well since most of this blog was for you I suggest you re-read the Larry Bird Section and then fact check it Bill Simmons style and send me a 3 page email pointing out my errors.

Something for Sara

This section is designed for myself to give out different top 5's. This week's topic: My top 5 concerts:

Off this List: This was one hard list to put together but noteworthy and interesting concerts I've been to that did not crack the top 5 are as follows, metallica in columbus, redman in bloomington, dierks bentley in muncie, lynyrd skynryd/kid rock in noblesville, gwar in indy, megadeath in indy, summer slaughter tour in louisville, among others.

5. Metallica in Chicago. 2 Metallica concerts on 2 nights. The first night in the upperdeck, the 2nd night front row. Follow that with a weekend being beside next to Wrigley Field at an excollege buddies place then you got all the makings of a good time.

4. Aerosmith in Noblesville. You can never forget your first concert and I know I never will. Aerosmith, Run DMC and CheapTrick. If you would have asked me at the time I would of never told you that Aerosmith would be lucky just to crack the top 5 on my concert list.

3. Ozzfest 2007 in Indy. This had all the makings of a good time. I was single. My roommate tank was single. Steve0 who I hardly seen at that time was single. Free Concert. lost of Friends. Ozzy. Things got rough. And then cam the afternoon. I still owe Tank my life for getting me home that night but it was one of those days that I sorely needed at the time and glad I got it.

2. Motorhead in Columbus, Ohio. Maybe it was because it was my first road trip with my little brother. Maybe it was because Steveos leg was still broken. Maybe it was because baby Cox came or maybe it was because a hurricane hit Columbus and the concert got postponed that stranded us in Columbus another night but being front row for Motorhead was phenominal. So many side stories came with this trip I dont even know where to begin but nothing really beats Scotty just saying "I'm Leaving" then walk out into the Columbus darkness.

1. Ozzfest in Dallas. Steve broke his leg the day before we left. We had to fly to get there. Metallica headlined it. I dropped almost a 1000 bucks for the event so it better be a number one thriller and it did not dissapoint. There's just something about being at a 14 hour concert in during the heat of the Texas summer that makes you happy that the Margaritas are only 12 bucks a pop.

A Love Story

Im going to be honest with you here, I'm just glad that Elliot and JD are back together.

Inspiration for Tom

From the ever so popular Surfing Instructor Kunu in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall

"When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail."