Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The 2008 Slammy Awards

In honor of the WWE Slammy Awards last night on Raw which rewarded the top wrestling moments of 2008 I have decided to host my own Slammy Awards using my life experiences from 2008 as the nominees but still keeping the same categories the WWE did. Enjoy.





Tag Team of the Year





This will probably be the easiest and most obvious award I will give today but lets tell the tail of the tape anyways. The tag team of Steve-0 and Bo (aka Chocolate Bear and Vanilla Bear) in 2008 traveled to Louisville, Indianapolis, Columbus (twice) and to Dallas, Texas just to go to concerts and have a Chicago adventure planned at the turn of the year to see a little band called Metallica play for the third time in my life. If not that was award worthy enough for you here's the link to the youtube video of Guy Love sung by Turk and JD from Scrubs:





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaTR5juMfr8





Best Finishing Maneuver of the Year





This is an interesting topic because I'm not sure whether to make it dirty or not but because this is a family friendly blog we're going to stay on clean street with this one. At this point in my life, being only one week from attaining a college degree when I hear the term "finishing" I just think about finishing college and so even though some stories may get inappropriate later on we're going to let this one be the way it is.





Extreme Moment of the Year





This award is difficult to give out because I tend to do a lot of random things and follow them through for if for any other reason, my own amusement. Runner ups for this award include my Superbowl Party, our night in Columbus, Ohio when there was no power and we didn't have a place to stay, living out of my car for a month and of course the night I danced with a 55 year old woman at in Indy bar because it was her birthday and I wanted her to have a good time (the fact that both of her daughters were easy on the eyes also helped). But the winner has to be the going to Dallas, Texas for the weekend just to see Ozzfest. Plane tickets, hotels, car rentals all for one concert. It was one of those weekends that you can always fall back on and think about and be like, yea I did that and be happy with yourself about.





Couple of the Year





Since I have been single the great majority of 2008 it makes it very difficult for me to nominate myself for this award. That being said I can say that after living with my cousin Sean for a couple months while he was preparing for his wedding I truly learned who the couple of the year were in my life. Sean's cat Ringo and myself had a couple of the best months in my life. That's right ladies, I picked a cat over all of you for the year of 2008. Feel Special. Ringo over the course of 2008 allowed me to watch wrestling and basketball whenever I wanted, never once cared if I wanted him to not sleep in my bed at night and was also a huge fan of my "Flying Ringo" game, a game that I have never found any girl to enjoy up to this part of my life. So girls, I hope you all realize by reading this that you need to pick it up a notch.





Diva of the Year





Instincts told me to just post a picture of the hottest girl I was involved with over the course of 2008. Me not wanting to get my ass kicked decided to go with a picture of the girl I hope to get with in 2009. That's right folks, I give you Kelly Kelly.

















OMG Moment of the Year





This award is being given to the most random sudden thing that happened to me this year which is probably without a doubt the night that I hit a donkey on that lonely county road in Randolph County. The good news from this incident was that the donkey was ok, my car was ok (except for a little love dent that the donkey gave me on my hood) and I also get to tell people for the rest of my life that I hit a real life donkey for the rest of my life. It's not something to go out and brag about I know but I like being a story topper and this is quite a doozy of one to have in my arsenal.





Match of the Year





Because I'm a lover and not a fighter and also because my friends are mostly all talk and no game I didn't really see to many altercations that were award worthy which is why I am going to the ring with this one. This past August when Sean, Scotty and I attended Summerslam we had no idea what we were getting into. First off, the event was held at Conseco Fieldhouse and we had to wait over two hours just to get in the place, something I never recall ever having to do from the near 100 Pacer games I have attended there. The event itself was unreal (and I don't mean unreal like everything is fake and its stupid). Whether you're a wrestling fan or not watching an even life will make you a kid again. 4 year old Bo would agree. The match of the Year was without question the Undertaker vs. Edge. Intro music, pyros, a giant 15 foot tall Hell in the Cell, Tables, Ladders, it was just all there. I will say though that when the Undertaker through Edge off the top of the ladder through the entire ring and then proceeded to light him on fire I could of died right now and been fine with it.





"Damn" Moment of the Year





For you non-wrestling junkies this award is given out to the most ridiculously hilarious extended moment of 2008. That is that it is not a single moment, but a string of little moments that make you shake your head and just say "Damn". My "Damn" moment of 2008 came this summer when a friendly case race between Steve and I escalated into have theme music and intros which escalated into a side contest where to put this generously lap dancing was involved and the winner got an actual microwave donated by yours truly. And although I was not in the side contest but was merely one of the officials of the event it does make you kind of put your head down, smirk a little bit, shake your head and just say "Damn".





Superstar of the Year





It should surprise none of you that I have nominated myself for Superstar of the Year. During this year I have lived in Carlos, Greenwood and Bloomington. I have student taught, coached an 8th grade girls basketball team (9-7 was our record), coached a junior high track team (girls got second in the county with only 6 girls), coached a 16 and under girls basketball AAU team (I don't remember our record here, too many random games but it was significantly above .500), and have made a rapid rise at Dunkin Donuts in the process. and I am also on the brink of graduating college to conclude my year academically. Personally I have seen concerts in 5 states, have been to at least a half dozen Pacer games and another half dozen IU games (when we were good). I have seen girls come and go and in some cases come again (that's what she said). I've been told I'm an amazing guy and I've been told I need psychological help. I've made new friends and established new enemies (namely the Financial Aid Dept, Jesse Ballenger is a close second). I lost my grandfather but became closer to my family in the process. It's funny how life works, how the unexpected always seems to happen and how we're so surprised when the unexpected does happen. (Sorry but I had to sum up my 2008 with a JD like statement).

1 comment:

Sean said...

Just wanted to give a shout out to my girl Kelly Kelly...holla baby

Next up: How could Tierney and I not win Couple of the Year? We are basically the exact replica of Edge and Vickie, who I remind you won the Couple of the Year in the WWE. I mean, Edge and Vickie threw the Undertaker out of the WWE this summer...sounds like a similar situation to Tierney and I throwing you out on the street after the wedding. And you should hear Tierney say "Excuse Me!" to her class...lots of "Booooos" after she speaks.

Let me just say that I will gladly fight you and Ringo in a Hell in a Cell match anytime.